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.. this will be the last time you'll ever see me smile again .. [entries|friends|calendar]

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way behind again. [21 Aug 2005|09:57pm]
[ mood | a lil sleepy. ]

it actually seems like i have a busy life
because i never update anymore
but i don't. i'm always at home doing nothing
i don't know why it always slips my mind
i have nothing interesting to post about anymore
not that i ever really did but i wrote about it anyway
right now i'm waiting for bradley to call my back
i haven't seen him all weekend
i'm starting to miss him

there's nothing really left to write
all my posts are so boring
when something exciting happens i guess i'll post

i'll wait for you there, like a stone. [19 Jul 2005|09:30pm]
[ mood | lazy ]

it's been a long time since i posted
i got behind once again.
there's too much to recap everything
but theres a couple of things that have happened since i posted that i'm gonna sort of randomly mention
we did indeed go to brownsville to fairway motorsports on the 1st.
to celebrate our first year together
my parents let me stay with him that night
and go to his 4th of July party the next night
we also went to the hart co fair
where we saw the girls that split us up
we fought, it was inevitable
we got over it in a day or two
things have been okay ever since
we went to allen co to the fair last weekend
i got to stay with him again
and russ and rhonda got married saturday
..bradley stayed over the last 2 nights
i'll probably see him tomorrow
hopefully. i love him ♥
i hope the next two weeks go by slowly
but for now, i'm going to bed.

..these scars keep ripping open.. [30 Jun 2005|08:52pm]
[ mood | happy ]

wow, i went an entire month without posting
my summer is still not very eventful
i did finally get to go to the lake with bradleys mom monday
that night nookie, tyler, danny, and sarah came with us to the fair
thats the only night during the week that i got to see bradley
we went fishing sunday afternoon
and he came over again last night at about 8
tomorrow will be one year since we started dating
i think we're going to brownsville to the races
if he calls tonight to confirm our plans that is.
summer is flying by so fast
i really want to spend some time with emillee, emily, and tara because i feel like we're drifting apart like we do every summer
especially emily.
i desperately need to vent to her
i miss our long talks in spachmans last year..
i didn't realize how many people i didnt really get to talk to this past year
like breanna and laura lee.
i used to talk to them both every single day
but last year i had no classes with breanna
and the one i had with laura lee we never had a chance to talk
it just seems so weird that we were such good friends
and then last year we just hardly ever talked
maybe we'll all have some classes together next year
..well i think i might straigten up my room now.
hopefully i will post sooner next time ... tdw*

choke on your alibi [30 May 2005|06:29am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

i'm up at 6:30 on a day i can FINALLY sleep in
i only got like 3 hours of sleep
talked to bradley til 11
slept til 2:30 & been up ever since
taler's at 4-H camp
bradley couldn't come over yesterday
work, of course..nothing new
and so far my summer has sucked
it's been what? 6 days since we got out
and i have done nothing more than sit around
i haven't seen bradley for two weeks.
i'm supposed to go down there this afternoon
he won't be in until 4 or 5
but i'm going down early to see his mom
she told me the other night that if he didn't miss me, she sure did
aww i love her!
i guess we'll grab a scary movie and settle on the couch for the afternoon
hope everyone wakes up pretty soon
i'm gettin' a little lonely.
well i guess i'll fill out a survey thing.

more questionsCollapse )

it's been a long time .. [16 May 2005|09:18pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

i can't believe i haven't posted in this long!
it's like no one updates anymore.
well i had a good weekend so i figured i'd post
friday afternoon i met brandy at county line in shady grove at 4
we rode back to bradleys cousin lisa's
went to sherry's in hiseville to eat
went to emily's ball game
me & mary met brandy back at lisa's
rode with brandy to town, met mary again
cruised the strip for a while
talked to joyce at mcdonalds
went to brandys at about 2:00am
got up saturday, went to mary's
rode to town a few times
got some lunch and went to bradleys at 3
stayed there til 11
came home and we fell asleep til 1:30
he left and i havent seen him since
hope to see him this weekend*
today it has been 11 months since we met.
seems so long ago.
i love him as much as i did the day i met him
i miss the week we spent
i miss florida.
i'm so anxious to see him...
hopefully i'll post sooner next time

when i look at what my life's been comin' to, i'm all about lovin' u [10 Apr 2005|02:33pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Florida was great! Bradley and I had such a good time. We left at 3:30 Friday afternoon and planned to stay in Birmingham but it took too long to get thru Nashville. But we still couldn’t find a room anywhere in Alabama so it was 4:30 in the morning before we got a room in Enterprise, Ala. (about two hours away from Panama City). Overall we had a pretty good week. We seem a lot closer now. We got into a little fight and didn’t speak for about 30 minutes just once, but that was about it. He left the room and found some drunk guy on the 14th floor pissing down the steps and they cussed each other and Bradley stuck him in the mouth one time and the guy took off to his room and even dropped his beer cup! Very eventful week. We were supposed to leave Saturday morning but my grandparents got into it and left at 12 Friday afternoon. Everyone else but me, Bradley, and my grandparents stayed but we got home at 10 Friday night. I got to stay at Bradley’s house all night for the first time though so it all turned out good. Yesterday Lisa took me to get my pictures developed while he went with his cousin Danny Wayne. Then I met him, Timmy, Danny, Nook, and Tyler at Timmy’s house and watched them play basketball. He ended up spending the night with me last night. It’s definitely going to be weird tonight knowing his not laying beside me or just a room away. His birthday is Wednesday; big 18! He even admitted that he’d be missing me for the next couple of days. His mom said she could see he was treating me different because when we left we were starting to get monotonous and boring, but now he’s back to the way we started out. I love him ♥ I hope I don’t jinx things! I dread going back to school. I’m not ready for Spring Break to be over…

* happy * [29 Mar 2005|12:10pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

first off, my weekend.
friday. brandy picked me up after school
me, her, mary, & jenna rode around
even tried to catch football practice
there wasn't any, but bradleys truck was there
we went to the strip later & picked up joyce
went to pizza hut at 9:30 & went home at 12
saturday. brandy met mom in cave city
& i left to go w/them to shop in bowling green
sunday. after church mom ran me to bradleys
they moved their easter dinner to jessie & lisa's
we ate & went to the hospital over bradleys arm
(he pulled a muscle at the weight liftin comp. sat.)
came home, got his clothes together, & since he had an excuse note to miss school from the doctor over his arm he skipped monday and spent the night with me!
yesterday he left at about 2:30 or so.
last night he told me he wanted to go to florida
we'll see if he goes through with it..

anyways...i've developed a love for the band poison
bradley listens to them all the time & now he has me listening to them. pretty good music. i've played it nonstop for the past two days.
also, can is home! i saw him sunday. he brought denina to church
he's going to florida too. it'll be so great if bradley will stick to our deal
3 more days .. PCB * Spring Break 05 * can't wait....

good & bad news.. [22 Mar 2005|05:45pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

can called home last night.
he's in camp lejune (sp) and is comin home fri.
im so excited!

whit said heather & brandon split up again
nook has to actually go home *tear*
but will it last this time?
probably not. to me they seem to really care about each other
they're like bradley's parents
they always find their way back to one another
which is good because i love bradleys parents!
jai and bubby were at bradleys sunday
i finally got to see my babies!
adorable as always.

bradley gets to graduate next year
if he keeps up his grades that is
he's playing football this year (hopefully)
i'm so excited. he's first practice should have been today
i guess i'll find out once i talk to him

i'm a little worried.
i'm losing weight little by little
but not trying to
if i tried, i wouldn't lose a pound
i know it's nothing major
but its just sort of weird
i agree with emily, she thinks its stress
so does my mother.
over school, bradley, my friends everything
i'm just run down. things have been lookin up tho*

something that is bothering me is tara
im so glad we worked things out
but i still feel like she doesnt really like me
i just want to be good friends with her again
of course, im probably just paranoid
i always think people don't like me or that they're talkin about me. which they may be. because there's no telling how many people really don't like me. they made it clear last year that there were quite a few.
but anyways. i hope things get better

i guess i'll go find something to do.
something to keep me occupied.
- kita ♥ danielle -

- snow day - [01 Mar 2005|08:41am]
[ mood | energetic ]

such a boring day
there's not really anything to do
hope bradley comes over b/c they're outta school too
maybe he'll call soon =)
really short post. check out my survey below

survey!Collapse )

* all smiles =) [27 Feb 2005|12:14pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

my weekend was great
this will be a long one!
after school friday brandy picked me up and we went her house
then met joyce ann and went to bowling green to eat at fazzolis
came back, met mary, went to the strip.
talked to ben meredith and even saw emily's ex, tyler, and god-forbidden austin!
long story-short, at 3:30 we were at the jail bailing a drunk guy out.
got home at 4am and slept in nookies bed.
saturday we just rode around and talked to people until like 8
then came back to glasgow and went to walmart
as we were leavin, i caught a glimpse of a blonde guy walkin in
yes, bradley whom i havent talked to since last thursday
he ignored me while heather talked to brandy
then him and nook walked off. i stood there a minute, almost cried then took off behind him. stopped him, shoved him into the magazine rack and ask why he didnt call.
we walked around walmart talkin for a while. he's supposed to call today. he swore on his truck.
then we said our goodbye, got a kiss on the forehead, and i went to the strip and he went to blockbuster
he doesnt know it but i caught him lookin for brandys car b/c we were just out of his sight. we stared at each other while he was in blockbuster. we're so stupid. but i love him.
brandy and mary went to park city to collect the money the drunk guy owed them and left me with joyce ann til they got back. me, brandy, mary, and amanda left glasgow at 12.
i'm hopin bradley calls soon.
i can't stand waiting any more.
i've waited a week now and i don't want to wait anymore .

waiting. [23 Feb 2005|06:15am]
[ mood | disappointed ]

that's all i ever do; wait
get up at 4 and wait for the sun to come up;
wait for everyone to wake up so i'm not alone
wait for my friends to talk to me
wait everynight for a phone call.
just praying he'll call again
wait for his truck to turn in the driveway again
wait for the day to be over
so i can come home and cry myself to sleep
wait for someone who accepts me for who i am
not for who they want me to be
wait for my life to make sense
wait for happiness...

random thoughts.... [16 Feb 2005|08:17pm]
[ mood | moody ]

-i'm so pissed right now.
i don't know where it came from, but it just hit me.
i'm just so angry, jealous, i don't know
i'm happy
but at the same time, i'm unhappy
these old aggrivations keep coming back to my mind
i can't let things go
oh i'm so complicated
i feel empty
even though that doesn't make a lot of sense
i wanted for a month for bradley and finally got him
and im still not satisfied
what's wrong with me?
sometimes i feel like giving up
ugh i can't wait til this year is over
why do i let things get so sucky?
i love my friends
emillee, emily, and tara are good friends
but i'm starting to feel left out again
every year we get close, then grow apart
i don't want it to happen again
i feel alone all the time
i shouldn't tho
i'm going to try really hard to be happy
but i shouldn't have to try ..
long, very extremely boring post
but i had to get it all out

looong day [09 Feb 2005|05:42pm]
[ mood | tired ]

bradley didnt spend the night saturday, at 2:30 he decided he'd wait til next weekend.
i'm waiting on him as we speak
he was supposed to be here at four, but its almost six and he's still not here
i can't wait until he gets here

we're already planning for florida!
i'm so excited! i'm glad bradley's going, but knowing him he'll change his mind before then. i wish we could leave now while the weather sucks here.

i'm tired, a little lazy, and somewhat bitter.
i just hate that bradley kept things from me.
it's not like i told him every single detail of everyday, but i never bold-faced lied to him. it upsets me that he doesn't trust me when i'm the one that's been completely honest from the start. when we first met, yes i didnt tell him i was TECHNICALLY still wtih kyle, but he hadn't called in like two weeks so what was i supposed to think? he means a lot to me and i just want things to work out...

[05 Feb 2005|07:10pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

today was okay. i didn't really do much even though it was nice outside.
went to c-ville. tried to figure out what i could get bradley for valentines day
he's so hard to buy for.
then went to mr. gattis to eat and helped my grandpa for a little extra money.
when i got home bradley was sittin in the living room with my dad
he's been waitin for two hours, so my dad let him watch striptease with him
he's gonna spend the night tonight
we went and picked up some pizza and a couple dvds.
i'm gonna let him sleep late tomorrow morning while i'm at church.
i should make him go, but sometimes he gets his way
thats about it..short post but he wants me to come watch 'torque' with him

statements about me [03 Feb 2005|05:47pm]

this is a cute little thing i found on genny's journal! check it out. the statements that apply are in bold.

click*hereCollapse )

[29 Jan 2005|01:17pm]
[ mood | good ]

it's been a little while since i posted.
me and bradley are doin pretty good. it's not always perfect, but i never expected it to be.
i feel like things with my friends are going good too
i can finally talk to tara and i'm glad things are back to the way they used to be with us.
we're all really close again. it's nice to have people i can trust.
and whitney; we talk all the time now that we have ag together.
she's coming with me to get my prom dress if bradley doesn't change his mind about going.
i'm just really optimistic right now, and i hope things don't head down hill.

i saw ♥bradley♥ last night. we just watched tv until we fell asleep.
he's coming to get me as soon as he's finished helping his dad today.
i already can't wait to see him!

.. our lil slumber party .. [17 Jan 2005|06:28pm]
[ mood | crazy for him * ]

i spent the enitre weekend with bradley.
saw him thrusday when he checked me out, he came over friday after we met at heathers, went to his house saturday, and he came over yesterday.
he spent the night last night.
he took my bed and i got to crash on the couch
we went to bed around 1:00. this morning he snuck in the living room and kissed me while i was sleeping and when i opened my eyes he was just hovering over me.
we called it our slumber party* lol it was a lil odd but so much fun. he looked so cute curled up sleeping under my covers!
we're so close again. before all this happened we weren't really "friends" just in a relationship. now i can just really talk to him. it's like we broke some barrier down when we got back together and it's all honesty now. he's actually my best friend and that makes it much easier. you wouldn't think he'd be so sweet or such a good guy, but he is. watching him with bryson (heathers little boy) saturday night was just adorable. he'll be such a great dad some day. he's so compassionate and i just love him so much.
i'm so happy!

yes, yes, yes, it is true .. [10 Jan 2005|08:45pm]
[ mood | loved ]

i'm happy to say that bradley and i are back together! yay for us!

i finally got my wish. and i'm too happy for words

muchos gracias to heather! she came and got me and he was waitin for me when i got there

it was very odd at first b/c we barely spoke, but heather left us alone and we talked about things.

later that night we decided we never OFFICIALLY broke up and we might as well be back together!

he told me how he felt which is really hard for him and he never shows emotion..

i thought we were both going to cry but we held it in. he said he still "loved me big as the sky" i know, how cheesy? but its so sweet when he says it.

he asked me to prom! yes thats right i'm finally going to prom. * heck yes *

very excited ..but i must go and wait for his call =) ... i  * l o v e *  bradley!

alone again. [08 Jan 2005|05:22pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

once again i'm sitting at home on a saturday night.
i was at home all day while mom and taler went shopping
now they went with dad to c-ville and left me here.
i really want to call brandy and see what they're doin because i never called her yesterday, but i don't want to invite myself.
she told me to call whenever i wanted to come, but i still feel a little weird about it
i wish bradley would call.
it seems like it's been months since i talked to him.
it has been a month and a half; a hurtful month and a half

i can't believe i've spent all day by myself.
the only person i've even talked to was tyler
well they'res not much left to post about

my apologies [07 Jan 2005|11:51pm]
i'm sorry i can't make myself happy
and that i disappoint you.
that i'm not like every other kid my age and
a lot of things get to me;
that i'm "uptight" and "can't relax" like you said
and my pillows are always soaked were i cry my eyes out.
i'm sorry that i run to you when i need to talk
when most teens would drown their sorrows in alcohol or drugs
i guess i just waste your time
i'm sorry that i'm attached to *him*
and it's not easy to just start dating a bunch of guys again.
that i talk about *him* non-stop b/c he's always on my mind
and that i pushed vance away and you just loved him so much.
i'm sorry ..

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